The 25 Dumbest Criminals

1.

Police in Florida say they arrested Debra Oberlin, the former president of a local chapter of Mother's Against Drunk Driving, for driving under the influence.

2.

Police in Florida arrested Karen Henry, 45, after she allegedly threatened her 80-year-old father with a knife for not sharing his potato salad.

3.

This might be the worst way to use your one phone call. Police in Sandusky, Ohio, say Joseph Walsh was already in custody in a holding cell when he dialed 911 on a cell phone and said he was being held against his will.

4.

A South Carolina man who twice pleaded guilty to having sex with a horse has been released from prison and put on probation, under the condition that he keep his distance from the horse.

5.

A Pennsylvania weight-loss doctor is accused of sexually assaulting at least six patients and telling one of them that she could lose weight by having an orgasm in his office. Arie Oren, 64, allegedly groped female patients with his hands and an electric massager.

6.

Law enforcement officials in Collier County, Fla. claim Mary Ramos stabbed her boyfriend because he was spending too much time in the bathroom. He was probably leaving the seat up too.

7.

Darrin Porter, 45, was charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing official business after crashing an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting while drunk and carrying a can of beer. That's probably not one of the twelve steps.

8.

William E. Robinson, 66, was charged with reckless conduct and discharging a firearm on someone else's property after he allegedly opened fire on a tree outside a shopping mall with a shotgun in an attempt to knock down a sprig of mistletoe. Robinson reportedly told authorities in Decatur, Ga., that he always gets ready for Christmas by shooting at mistletoe and was surprised that he was being taken into custody.

9.

Authorities in Georgia found Ranaldo Jack stuck in a woman's chimney. He was charged in connection with an attempted burglary.

10.

Marsia Emanuel allegedly flagged down a school bus in Winter Haven, Fla., boarded and beat the bus driver in front of her daughter, a student riding it already. Cops found Emanuel later at home where she dropped her underpants in front of them, they said. It's unclear what was her motive.

11.

Florida police arrested Ian Stuart Wood at his home in East Naples after he allegedly choked his wife over a heated game of Yahtzee. Imagine what he would've done if they'd been playing Monopoly.

12.

A 32-year-old Long Island woman was busted after egging on two 12-year-old girls to fight outside an elementary school and then beating up a child who was watching nearby.

13.

Edwin Tobergta, 32, was arrested in Butler County after allegedly having sex with an inflatable pool raft.

14.

Michael Andes called Shelton, Conn. police more than a dozen times to report his own parking violation and to complain about the lack of enforcement. Cops used a stun gun on him after he yelled repeatedly about parking problems.

15.

Police arrested Aaron Richardson for allegedly having two wives, but he told cops that he didn't remember getting married to the first wife. Presumably their were also multiple arguments with his spouses over forgotten birthdays and anniversaries.

16.

Mark Anthony Richardson Jr. wore diapers and faked being autistic to get women to babysit him. 

17.

This Florida dad – and no longer parent of the year nominee – was arrested for allegedly using a circular saw to cut off his son's cast, and nearly removing two fingers instead.

18.

Amateur stripper Natalie Behnke, 25, was arrested in Clearwater, Fla., after allegedly taking off her clothes at Baby Dolls Lounge and asking for money.

19.

Police in Tennessee say a Memphis man grew outraged when his kids arrived at another child's birthday party and realized that all of the cake had already been eaten by other guests. Joseph Hayes allegedly wanted his kids to have their cake and eat it too – so he left the party and returned with a handgun. He was charged with aggravated assault.

20.

“I am the caped crusader. I am the night. I am Batman!” No – you’re a middle-aged man found dangling from a 30ft high building.

21.

Police in Florida say they were trying to pull over Roberta Spen when the 64-year-old suspect pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru and ordered lunch. Spen allegedly paid for her meal and drove off, sparking a police chase.

22.

When police in Alachua, Fla., attempted to stop a motorist who was driving with a suspended license, Joseph Ronald Webb, 20, allegedly led police on a 15-block chase before crashing his car into his own house.

23.

Cops in Charlotte, N.C., busted home invasion suspect Jonathan Huntley after he allegedly left a t-shirt featuring his own mug shot at the crime scene. The shirt, pictured on the right, showcases an old booking photo.

24.

Deputies in Florida say 92-year-old Helen Staudinger opened fire on her neighbor's house after the much younger resident refused to give her a kiss. Investigators at the Marion County Sheriff's Office claim Staudinger refused to leave 53-year-old Dwight Bettner unless her neighbor gave her a kiss. She allegedly returned with a gun.

25.

Police in Waseca County, Minn., say Terry Allen Lester, 37, constructed an explosive sex toy that he planned to give to an ex-lover. Lester allegedly put gunpowder, BB pellets and buckshot into the sex toy, which was connected with red and black wires to a battery-powered trigger.