Square Mile Confession: Lords high above

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Lords high above

A friend of mine 'Bob' was at Lords with a colleague he didn't like ('John') watching the cricket with 3 mutual clients. They just had normal peasant seats cos the box that my bank was using was full of the big wigs and their big clients. Anyway, 'Bob' had a bit of coke and he starts dishing it out to 'John' without letting the clients see - lots of hands meeting behind the chairs and that kind of thing. Anyway, Bob keeps giving his colleague the wrap and telling him to go knock himself out and this friend is gettign increasingly obviously high - wide eyes, sniffly nose, talking crap very fast - all that sort of thing. Bob then gets a call and pretends its from their mutual boss in the posh box and says that John has to go and see him about something. John starts absolutely shitting himself, thinking he's gonna get fired. He's paranoid and jittery and can't believe it but Bob assures him he's gotta see him so off he walks like a condemed man to the firing squad. The thing is that apparently Bob was gonna call the poor bloke's phone just before he got there to tell him it's a joke but the guy's phone was off. Poor John turned up at the boss' box and, almost having a heart attack and asked to see the boss who stormed out saying 'that this better be f*&&ing good'. After a stuttering horrible conversation (after which John came convinced he'd lose his job) he returned to his seat spitting nails but unable to mention the trick in front of the clients. Needless to say Bob was struck off John's Christmas card list!

Cityboy says: I'm not too upset about the trick especially since your 'friend' intended to stop it before it got silly ... But I'm not happy about doing drugs at Lords! Is nothing sacred? Five hail Marys.

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Buy Cityboy's book 'Payback Time' (about sex, drugs and revenge in the Square Mile) here. Follow Cityboy on Twitter.