Speakeasy
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Eurozone Economy ‘No Longer Visible To The Naked Eye’
The eurozone has shrunk to such a degree that its GDP is only visible through the lens of an electron microscope that has been hand-polished by the Dalai Lama, scientists have claimed.
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Triple-Dip Recession ‘Could Be Fun’ Says King
A triple-dip recession is an unique opportunity that could inspire theme parks, coffee houses and even salty snacks, Mervyn King has claimed.
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Error As UK Recovery Predicted 'By Eight O'Clock This Evening'
Following an administrative blunder the EU has forecast that Britain will become Europe’s fastest growing economy “by 20:13” – or slap bang in the middle of EastEnders.
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City Urged Not To Squander Bonuses At Comet
City employees have today been warned not to fritter their massive bonuses on white goods at Comet for fear they won't be able to return them when they explode.
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‘Party of Century’ Planned As Economy Grows by 1%
Britain is today in celebratory mood as news filtered through that the economy had grown by a staggering 1% through sheer chance.
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Joy At Argos As Boss Discovers Internet
High street chain Argos is celebrating after its chief executive announced that he had discovered “an extraordinary thing” called “the internet”.
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Outrage As Starbucks Pays Tax
US coffee giant Starbucks has been condemned for a tax bill described as “far too high” by lots of other huge companies with offshore bank accounts.
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Energy Companies Told To Make Bills Prettier
The Prime Minister has ordered energy firms to make bills friendlier and more attractive to “enhance the process of being ripped off.”
Micro economics – the Young Report is only the half of it
Crunch Bunch: £1.3m Bra
Crunch Bunch: Venus of Cupertino iPad Docking Station
Crunch Bunch: Black Astrum
Crunch Bunch: Fonderie 47 Cufflinks
The third Square Mile Pool Tournament
Small Cap Awards winners announced
St George's Day at Leadenhall Market
The Square Mile Run Club tackles Broadgate
Square Mile's Sanctuary Spa evening
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