Everything Ok Again As Country Given Pile Of Money

“We were worried that the country which owes us all this money might not pay it back but those fears have now gone,” said a clueless man on tablets.

The sum of money, which insiders say is “somewhere between gigantic and unpayable”, was agreed by European finance ministers after a long night of maths.

They eventually emerged brandishing sacks of used notes – humorously described by finance ministers as a “rescue package” - which they said would be delivered via a large gravy train.

“This agreement is a huge step forward,” said a man without any legs.

The country receiving the huge pile of money, which used to be known as ‘Greece’, celebrated the news by taking the day off to throw things at police.

The money is conditional on certain terms including:

• An agreement that the country will eventually become known as ‘Germany’
• An agreement that Greek finance ministers will refrain from giggling in meetings
• The slaughter of all first-born males
• A tax on hummus
• A tax on chest hair
• A tax on women
• A tax on vowels

Today, however, as reports spread that Greece had been “screwed”, police said they were “very keen” to speak to Dominique Strauss-Kahn.