Occupy Protesters Head Home To Their Mummies And Daddies

Tens of highly emotional trustafarians were spotted hugging and exchanging email addresses after permission to appeal against their eviction was quashed. One young man was crying so hard he was sick into a gold bucket given to him by his mum.

“There is no question that we made our point loud and clear,” said a girl called Mwa. “I’m told we came here to secure free milk for the under-30s and someone said we did it. Yay!”

Confusion over the purpose of the protest was an ongoing issue, with 58% of those polled claiming that by camping out for three consecutive nights they were entitled to a free iPad 2.

“There was without doubt uncertainty over the message of the Occupy movement,” said Peter Seven, who hasn’t shaved since 1997. “In a nutshell it was to embarrass our parents, many of whom work round the corner.”

One man who camped out for 17 minutes while waiting to test drive a Ferrari said the problem was the lack of alternative message – but refused to blame the privileged adolescents.

“Personally I feel the hopeless ideologues are as much at fault as the posh kids waiting for their trust funds to kick in,” he said. “I might even have supported their cause if just one of them had shaved, washed or made sense."