“It’s always a nerve-wracking experience watching England on the international stage,” said keen fan, 64-year old Mervyn King.
“At the end of the day it’s a game of two halves and it’s not about individuals, it’s about the whole team and the lads have done brilliant,” said England right-winger, David Cameron.
Organisers of the G20 tournament had been criticised for being overshadowed by a European football competition being held in Poland and Ukraine.
“I could only find a tiny update on the G20 in the corner of page 32 of The Telegraph underneath pages and pages of bloody football,” said unemployed taxation expert, Harry Redknapp.
There were also ugly scenes after an appearance by former IMF centre-forward, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who insisted on being pulled off at half-time.
The G20 tournament includes well-positioned front-runners, such as China and India, alongside dodgy outsiders like Italy.
As always, all eyes have been on the Germans, led by stocky front man, Angela Merkel, who plays a complicated and controversial game right of centre.
“At the end of the day, we’re not going to be pushed around by the Germans,” said plucky French left-winger Francois Hollande, “but we will do whatever they tell us.”
However, all nations taking part in the G20 have been widely criticized for failing to show either leadership or strength of character in the face of serious international challenges.
“They just seem to be a thinly-disguised bunch of fakes that will change direction according to which way the wind’s blowing,” said Wayne Rooney’s hair.
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