Goldman Tracks: new ‘bankers-only’ train line

Posted by Mark Hedley , Updated August 19, 2010 at 11:44 Be the first to comment on this story

With SEC civil charges of $550m and a $600m UK bonus tax bill failing to derail Goldman Sachs’s share price of late, the bank has upped the ante with its consortium bid for Britain's only high-speed rail line. “First Class just doesn’t cut it these days – I mean you don’t even have to wear black-tie any more,” said a person who might work for the investment bank that we found hanging around the public toilets at Waterloo.

The Government is selling ‘High Speed 1’, which has a 30-year concession to run a 70-mile railway linking London and the Channel Tunnel, to help cut its budget deficit.

With public outrage for the investment bank at an all-time high, it’s not surprising that Goldmans is prioritising such a bid:

“The public properly hates us. It was only a matter of time before we needed our own transport network – it’s for our own safety as much as anything else. When the sh*t really hits the fan, we’ll be able to get the hell out of the UK in under an hour.

"It works well for me too: since I moved to Sevenoaks, it’s really going to improve my morning commute.”

In other news, JP Morgan looks to invest in new stairway to heaven.

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