Danger Mouse to become big cheese at Lloyds TSB

Mr Mouse’s appointment is believed to be in direct response to rumours that Barclays have been in bed with megalomaniac amphibian financier Baron Silas Greenback for some time.

In a clear swipe at their adversaries, it's rumoured that Barclays may swap their eagle for a green toad. Lloyds has responded by replacing their black horse emblem with a white mouse.

Speaking from his red pillar box Danger said:

“I thought that sending in the mice was a great way to shake things up and really put my stamp on the place. You should have seen the look on their faces – priceless.”

Lloyds’ newly appointed head of press, Ernest Penfold, added:

“It wasn’t so funny when the traps came out. Ooh-eck! My men started getting their limbs chopped off left right and centre. Crumbs! That was carnage.”

Elsewhere, reports that Roland Rat is taking over RBS are yet to be confirmed. As yet, Finger Mouse has refused to comment.