UK economy now ‘completely fine again’ says UK business press
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UK economy now ‘completely fine again’ says UK business press

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The UK economy is back on track – that’s the universal message across today’s business pages. Headlines like ‘UK In Three Point Turnaround’ (The Sun), ‘High Sales And Low Debts Boost Recovery Hopes’ (The Telegraph) and ‘Hope For Economy As Factory Orders Rising Sharply’ (Daily Mail) are proof that green shoots are sprouting across the nation.

Asked why, just 24 hours ago, the national finance press was full of headlines like ‘Country Slides Deeper Into Debt’ (The Telegraph), ‘US Jobless Figures Threaten Revival’ (Daily Mail) and ‘UK Economy On Knife-Edge’ (The Telegraph), business writer Larry Tendon told Square Mile:

‘These are turbulent times and busy holiday traffic has delayed most prescriptions. My Xanax didn’t arrive till late yesterday afternoon. Luckily they only take a couple of hours to kick in. Come here, go on, and touch me - feel the warmth of my rainbow gland.’

In other news:

• Greece to be shut down in under a fortnight

• Monetary Policy Committee says Sterling now ‘utterly worthless’

• Home repossessions rise by 364%

• Queues form at Beachy Head

• Everything gives you cancer

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