UK manages to drink even more

Previously it had been assumed that in a time of financial crisis Britons would tighten their belt, keep a clear head and try to get an early night.

Instead, the shock news from the manufacturer of Guinness, Smirnoff and Johnnie Walker was that Britons were drinking even more.

Said one broker, when approached for a comment last night in City pub, The Spoiled Toff & Barrow Boy, “Thash my drink, get yer own. Are you lookin’ at my pint? I love you.”

A spokesperson for City addiction charity, The Last Orders Centre, voiced her concern at the levels of drinking in the City of London, before adding, “We do take credit cards, make sure you tell them that; it’s really important.”

In other news, Germans discover love of sausages, French people smell and Italians invest in excess of hair products.