Five harsh truths people won't tell you if you're making big bucks
Michael Serwa is the most sought after and highest paid life coach in the country. His clients range from heads of Mayfair law firms and CEOs of energy companies, to entrepreneurs and sports-stars turned businessmen, who pay up to £35k per year for his brutally honest coaching style and network of experts
My job is to help to bring more happiness and fulfilment into the lives of the financial elite, and I am the first choice for CEOs and high net worth individuals for good reason - I am their life coaching equivalent. I’m top of my game, just like them. We live and think the same way and I am well-versed in the language of success and winning, understanding its joys and pains, just as my clients do.
There’s another reason they come to me – I get the results they pay me for, transforming their lives not just merely improving them – and I don’t beat around the bush. Ever.
There are many people who will tell my clients what they want to hear - but that’s certainly not me. Not when there is so much at stake.
So listen up, because it’s about to get real.
Your housekeeper, nanny and gardener are probably happier than you
Let’s be honest, they are, aren’t they. Why? Because they have less than you. Materially, at least. There is this sweet spot in life where if you have “enough” money, you’ll be happier than those with less. But suddenly, when you go over a threshold of about £80k a year, you have so much that you become afraid of losing it.
Life can actually get harder. You have to keep everything safe. What if the house value drops or an investment goes wrong? You’re constantly concerned about maintaining your wealth, your status and not buckling from the responsibility and pressure.
Maybe you’re a spender. Still, you spend so much time and money on the material things, you’ve forgotten what’s important. What makes you truly, deeply happy? I congratulate you on getting to this point of wealth and success, but what is the point in any of it unless you’re truly happy?
Sometimes, having less is more. But you don’t have to have less. You can have everything you want materially and, as long as you work on your mindset and priorities, you can have absolutely everything else too.
You wear the mask of an invincible leader – and you are sick and tired of it
People forget you’re human. You’re made of flesh and blood like everyone else, but you put that mask on each morning and present that version of yourself to the world every single day. Guess what? It’s you putting on that mask. No one is forcing you. In fact, most people want to know you’re human; they want to see you bleed and hurt like everyone else. They want to know that you know how they feel.
No one else can take that mask off for you. That is entirely your responsibility. You don’t want to take it off at work? Fine. Go home and take it off. Be whatever you need to around your friends and family. Know this; it’s okay to not be the big man or boss lady all the time. In fact, it’s better for everyone that you aren’t.
It's never enough. £1m, £10m or £100m. No matter how much you make, you will never be satisfied
This is simply a mind-set.
It was great when you were going from £1,000 to £5,000 per month. That meant something. But what about now? What does an extra £1m mean to you? Or even £100,000? If it’s little or nothing, this mindset is no longer serving you. What do you really achieve when you make another £1m now? The reality is that it takes your time and focus away from your other priorities; relationships, health and hobbies.
Let me be clear - if you keep this mindset, you will never have enough.
The good news is that you can change your mindset. You won’t lose anything, you’ll just learn to grow and gain in different areas of your life. But you have to commit to it; like you would on making the next mil.
You have to be brave enough to decide you have enough money. Be brave enough to admit you want more in other areas of your life. Then do something about it.
The little boy or girl in you feels incredibly lonely at times
As I said, you’re human. And like all humans, we were once little people whose minds, emotions and behaviours were being created and moulded. We were all once a child who wondered if Mum was coming back, or whether or not we’re alone in this world.
We all have our childhood issues to deal with, even if you’ve pushed it right down so you don’t even feel it. As a successful person, you’re at the top often. People look up to you. That’s a lonely place for anyone.
You are not weak for feeling this way. The only way you are weak is if you deny it. If you ignore these emotions. It’s time to acknowledge that you’re still only human, and that sometimes, you just need to go home early and hug someone you love.
You may have won financially, but you probably screwed up lots of other areas of your life
I get it. You’re committed. You’re focused. You’re hungry. It makes you busy. But come on. Is it worth losing the love of your life for? Worth getting sick for? Is it worth having your kids resent you?
You’re not a monster, you’re driven. But what is your family, your health and the rest of your life worth to you? How much would you pay to have a relationship with your kids? To stop the heart attacks, strokes and cancers coming your way?
You are so used to paying for everything, you forget what is more important - your time. Money can buy you a good divorce lawyer or doctor, but it can’t stop the pain. Only prioritising your time can do that. Only you can do that.
I’m not a genius. I just know what’s going through your head, because it’s gone through mine and the majority of my clients, too.
My success is not defined by my wealth, it’s defined by my happiness and fulfilment in everyday life. That includes my health, relationships and business - in equal measurements.
Are you prioritising your wealth, career or business, but neglecting other parts of your life? It’s likely. The good news? Money absolutely can buy you happiness. That's what my clients tell me once we’re working together, anyway.
For more info, visit michaelserwa.com